A gang of Otter Pops, frozen, various flavors
Paul Masson VSOP
Coca Cola
First you pour a shot or two of the Paul Masson over a few ice cubes. Add Coca Cola to taste. Take an Otter Pop - experiment with flavors; I prefer the blue flavor*. Break it into about four chunks & drop it into the drink. Enjoy!
*Yes, I said "blue flavor".
This year my friend Sia and her daughter Arianna, who had moved up to Portland Oregon when they couldn't pay the rent out here anymore, came to town to visit & spend the holidays with all us folx they left behind. Jayden and I walked up to Mosswood and met them there, along with another friend of ours, Eileen, and her son Rock. It was really cool seeing Sia & Arianna - I miss them a lot, and I especially miss hangin out with Sia, eating and talking smack all day.
Jayden and Arianna and Rock played in the tot lot for a while, while us grown folx watched them and chatted and checked out the people strolling by. One of the things I love so much about my hometown: all the different kinds of folx you'll see on any given day. Black folx, white folx, asians, latinos; folx from Africa, the Caribbean, India, and Eastern Europe...and they were all chillin at the Carijama today. Thuggish knuckleheads, sisters wearing Erykah-Badu style geles, beautiful Indian women wearing saris; rastas and their dredlocked babies, ghetto fabulous hootchie mamas, UC Berkeley students in shorts & Birkenstocks; of course, the gorgeous (and sexy!) carnaval costumes - especially the huge Trinidadian-style fans; and beautiful mixed-race families, of all shades and ethnicities, everywhere you looked.
Eileen bought some catfish, and Jayden gobbled some up like he hadn't been fed all weekend. We grabbed us a spot on the grass and settled down to watch the dancing on the stage. I got sunburned, even though I wear sunscreen rain or shine; now my forehead & my forearms are an 80's lipstick kind of pink. Jayden has quite a bit more melanin than I do so his golden skin just got a lil' bit browner. There was a booth where you could make things like crowns & sceptres out of recycled scraps of metallic paper, old stickers and ribbons. Arianna, who's 6, made herself a sceptre and a crown; Rock is almost 2, and Jayden couldn't get the sceptre together, so Eileen and I made theirs. Jayden's sceptre has a bunch of green cotton stuck on the top, and silver-colored streamers around it, and a feather & a ribbon or two topped it off nicely.
After a while Jayden started acting like he was on the verge of a meltdown; and since the walk home is about 8 long blocks, I decided to leave before my baby was too through to walk home contendedly. We hugged Sia and Arianna goodbye - Eileen had taken Rock home a little earlier for the same reason - and left, even before the reggae groups hit the stage. I'm glad we did, though, because we had a lovely walk home and Jayden was perfectly happy, with nary a fuss or whine. He marched along with his silver-colored crown on his head, holding Mommy's hand with his left hand, and waving the sceptre with his right; people passing by called him "little prince" and "little king", and he just ate it up.
The weather here in Oakland was gorgeous today - sunny and bright, warm, but with a nice bay breeze to blow all the grill-smoke away and keep everyone from overheating. I hope we have nice weather next week - at the very least, for tomorrow, because I START MY JOB TOMORROW! Whoo hoo! Yay for me! So, on that note, I'm outta here to get our stuff together & get plenty of sleep...I hope you all had a lovely holiday and lots of BBQ, fun with family & friends, and a wonderful holiday weekend.
Your mama must have worried about you. The rock star part of you is all Courtney Love. As a true bad girl, you've managed to stretch the rebellion of high school into your adult life and career. Your and Courtney's success stems from a passion for shocking the world with your wild antics. The world is egging you on, and you keep thumbing your nose at it while muscling into the mainstream with overwhelming success. You've really made it, no matter what the naysayers said. Use that inner Courtney, gal. It's all on your terms now.Except I wouldn't dis Madonna on national TV...
And check these out:
"The United States has agreed to provide $3 million to Sudanese rebels in their struggle against the Khartoum government, the office of Sen. Sam Brownback said Friday."But then again...
baculine (bak'y& lin), adj. pertaining to the rod or its use in punishing: baculine discipline in the classroom. [ < L bacul(um) walking stick, staff + -INE ]*due to the limitations of this font, I can't show the symbol for the long "a" or "e" sounds in this word. Both "a's" are long; the "i" is pronounced as long "e".basiate(ba' se at'),* v.t., v.i., -at·ed, -at·ing. Obs. to kiss. [ < L basiat(us) (ptp. of basiare), equiv. to basi(um) a kiss + -atus -ATE ] -ba' si·a'tion, n.
So, I've been beaucoup busy...running around town on the bus, registering at temp agencies, going to various city & county offices to apply for examinations, dropping off & picking up Jayden at school; and coming home to make dinner, bathe the boy & put him to bed, and wash out a bunch of clothes in the sink. Been dropping off, exhausted, at around nine or ten each night; without even watching TV. Which can only be a good thing, especially with our energy running out 'round here.
Well, I'm not really complaining about all this - because I got me a J.O.B. yesterday! It's temp-to-perm, working in the sales audit department of a store my family has been shopping at since the sixties, a place I've spent thousands of dollars at over the years. If I make permanent there, I'm sure I'll get a discount; you can bet I'll use it, too, not like the 40% discount I had at my last job - even with the discount that place was too expensive for me.
I start Tuesday; the hours are perfect, the location is too - right in Jack London Square. It's much less than what I'd been used to making, but waaaaaay more than I'm getting now! And anyway, I'm gonna wow 'em with my skillz, make myself indispensible, and they're gonna hire me on permanently at a great salary. Yep, that's what's gonna happen, dangit!
Take this chick, for instance. She's got disclaimers on her page and all that, so I don't want to just go and flame her; that ain't cool. But I can't keep my mouth shut, and since this is where I voice MY opinions, I just want to say a few things.
First, that if you are offended, disgusted, fed up, with ANY group of people, be they little ones, fat ones, black ones, non-English speaking ones, whatever - don't bring your ass out in public. Yeah, there are people who don't discipline or provide guidance for their kids; there are slackers & fuck ups in every group of people out there. That shouldn't mean you're hateful towards everyone IN that group. That's the exact same mindset racists & homophobes have - I see no difference whatsoever.
Secondly, she talks about having the seat kicked and being distracted and annoyed at a baseball game. About her & her husband buying expensive seats to get away from people with kids. She doesn't mention this, but I'd bet anything that they were at the very least giving dirty looks to these people. They may even have been making snide comments to each other or under their breath. And while I will encourage good behavior from my kid, if I was sitting around some folx who were obviously hateful towards me & my kid I can't say that I wouldn't look the other way if my kid spilled soda on them or kicked the shit out of their seat.
And last of all, check out what she claims she told her coworker when they brought their kid to the job. This has got to be one bold chick. If you can't do your job without distractions, then you ought to work at home. I doubt her coworker brings their kid to work every damn day. And you can bet if the bitch would've said some shit like that to me, I'd have had to check her ass with a quickness, humiliate and berate her, since at the job (and in front of my kid) I couldn't just kick her ass. Which someone is going to do when she acts hateful to the wrong person...
When we got inside I showed Jayden where his cubby was, and how to hang up his coat & backpack. I reminded him where the bathroom was and then he wanted me to read him a book; I did, and then the other kids started to arrive. Jayden got into reading books with them, and I got ready to go; he could barely drag himself away to give me a hug & say "bye".
I went outside and began walking towards the welfare employment office; I had some copies to make, and it was just a half mile or so away. And the walk from the preschool to the county offices takes me through one of my favorite North Oakland neighborhoods. It's called "Temescal" and no, it's not the area around Lake Temescal - it's between Telegraph and Broadway, running from oh, say, 45th to about 55th streets. Lots of gorgeous, often funkily bohemian, houses. Studio One arts center is over on 45th just below Oakland Tech High School; the neighborhood is full of artists, and walking past their homes you can usually spot something really cool, like a sculpture in the yard, or a mobile hanging on the porch, or a funky painting propped up in a window. One house has an outer space scene painted on the garage door, and the address sign hanging on the porch looks like a ceramic piece showing the family who (I suppose) lives there.
So anyway, I walk over to the welfare office, get some copies made, and catch the bus home to check my email & make a few phone calls. I make myself a sandwich, grab some carrots & almonds, and get back on the bus to go downtown so I could pick up a couple applications at BART. Then I walked to the library to print some copies of my resume, since I don't have a printer at home. I ate my lunch and walked back down to 14th & Broadway to register at a temp agency. I took a bunch of tests: typing, numerical data entry, alpha-numeric data entry, Word, Excel, and general office skills. I was kind of slow on the typing - I did 67 wpm with 100% accuracy, but I've been known to type 85 wpm so I knew I could do better. I got 100% on the Word and numeric data entry tests. On the alpha-numeric test, I missed one entry, because on a name with two initials (like W. D. Jones) I didn't put a space between the first period and the second initial. I did 96% on the office skills test and 90% on the Excel test. I got there kind of late, so today I go back & meet with one of the staff members to discuss placement...wish me luck y'all, I got a cutoff notice for the PG&E yesterday, and I've only got to make 65 bucks to pay it!
When I went to pick Jayden up from school the kids were playing outside. The director saw me at the gate and let me in; I stood sort of behind a tree & was talking to her while watching Jayden play. He was still wearing the same clothes, which meant he'd stayed dry all day! He's been wearing cotton pants & staying dry most days for like 3 weeks now, but I didn't know how he'd do at school - the director said he didn't have any issues going at all. She said he participated in all the activities, ate all his breakfast, some of lunch & all his snacks, and took a nap with the other kids.
I watched Jayden play for a while. He didn't see me, for about 10 minutes, until I walked up to the bike he was riding! And I only did that 'cause I was all proud of him, he was learning how to pedal for the first time. Tomorrow he'll be a pro at it.
That boy did not want to leave school - "No! No! No! No! No!..." but when he finally tore himself away he was cool, and we had a nice walk to the bus stop, swinging hands & talking about his day.
My baby is growing up. I knew school was just what he needed, and I was pretty sure he'd adjust quickly, and I'm so pleased that it took no time at all.
And what a relief to not have him hanging on me 24 hours a day. I wish he didn't have to be in school for 10 hours, but I have to work or we'll both be living out of a car that doesn't even run. And tonight, even though we only had three hours until his bedtime, we spent it with not a whine, not a fight, and only minor going-to-bed fussing. I was not all stressed out & harried by him, because he'd spent his energy in a structured, positive way, AWAY FROM ME. So all I got was sweetness & light. Yesterday. Today, of course, is another day, and when you're dealing with a three year old, there are no guarantees.
I had also intended on posting the definition for the word game, so here 'tis:
araneiform (ar' & ne' & form'Elisabeth got it right, with George coming within a spider's filament, and my pa'tna Danielle gets the prize for best guess!
adj. shaped like a spider; spiderlike. [ < L Arane(a) a spider, spider's web, cobweb (akin to Gk arachne) + -I- + -FORM]
Now for some more geeky word fun. Here are a couple words to ponder for this week:
Again, hit me on the "tell mama" link below & let me know what you think they mean. C'mon, it's fun...
I've actually got lots of stuff to blog about but I've got runs to make today. Hopefully Blogger will be back up soon - I'm writing this Monday morning in Notepad but I don't know when I'll actually post it. If Blogger's not back by the time I get home this evening, I'll just go & put this on the page the "old fashioned" way.
One of the best birthday presents I've ever gotten - besides my Dalmatian, Pandora, for my 8th - was my Big Red Book. Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language. I got it for my 22nd birthday, from my supervisor at work.
Benita was more than my supervisor; she was (and is) my friend. We used to go to the club, get drunk, gossip, share clothes, confess our deepest & darkest to each other. I had let it be known to my coworkers (we were 7 chicks, all very tight, like a fambly up in there) that what I really wanted was a good dictionary with maps & tables & stuff. They thought I was trippin, since I was a total fast-ass party girl and should've been asking for stuff like clothes or photo albums or something frivolous like that.
But no, I needed a good dictionary. Everyone knew I was a bookworm, but I guess they didn't trip off what I was reading - along with the Stephen King & John Grisham books I read, back then, The Jungle by Upton Sinclair, Malory's Le Mort d'Arthur, A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens, Two Years Before the Mast by Dana; works by Shakespeare, Emerson, Thoreau; a bunch of books edited by Henry Louis Gates, Jr; and a bunch of other heavy hitters like that.
My coworkers mostly read stuff like the National Enquirer, "supermarket novels", and romances. I can't stomach romance novels, but I like to read lowbrow stuff - I just also like to read the stuff I missed by fuckin around in high school and depriving myself of a college education.
Anyway...so Benita shocked the hell out of me by actually buying me a dictionary. My Big Red Book is my prized possession. If my house ever catches on fire, I'm grabbing my kid, my dog, my photo albums, and my dictionary.
It has everything you'd ever want in a dictionary. Here's the table of contents:
It's the 1989 version, which means the atlas still shows the USSR and the presidents' list ends with Bush the first.
This book has medical & scientific terminology, archaic & obscure words, etymologic breakdowns and even famous people. It is THE authority for Scrabble & Boggle games at my house, and when my mom can't find a word defined in her dictionary, she calls me 'cause it's sure to be in mine. It comes in really handy when I'm reading books like Inside Outside by Herman Wouk, who likes to use obscure words that I've never seen. And it's perfect for dictionary games - you know, like "guess what this word means".
My Big Red Book is falling apart. I've had it for 12 years, and while I've tried to take very good care of it, the binding has split in a couple places and the dust jacket is long gone. I'm going to buy me some red binder's tape when I get a job and patch it up.
Here's a word for you, can you guess what it means? No fair looking it up!
Here in California welfare now goes by the euphemistic name of "CalWorks". You can only be on CalWorks for two years at a time, up to a total of five years. You are required to work, look for work, or be enrolled in school or a training program. If you want to go to a real college & earn a degree, I think you can only get welfare for two years of it; I'm not too sure how it works. But when I went into the job center next door to the welfare office, no job posted on the three big bulletin boards had a salary above $12 an hour. There were a lot of openings posted for janitorial & food service jobs, for places like UPS and the airport, for bank tellers and bakery workers. I'm not about to dis ANY job or the people who work it. But I just can't help but feel resentment for a "welfare to work" system that is churning out thousands of unskilled workers and providing minimal training, keeping people from moving too far up. I've always felt this way - even when I was making $37k and working my ass off.
I've always felt offended by the "welfare queen" imagery that politicians & the media try to force-feed us. And it really pisses me off that much of America has bought into the lies & the stereotypes that victimize poor people. Now that I'm in the system myself, my sense of outrage is magnified, personalized. I'm the one those idiots are always whining about giving their tax money to (don't get me started on that tip, I could rant all month). Never mind that I've been a taxpayer since 1984. Never mind that in those 17 years the longest time I was unemployed, before now, was three months. Never mind that I have every right to receive assistance from my government to feed and support my child, and never mind that my government has an obligation to do so. Those poor-bashing assholes will never look past "welfare recipient" to see me as anything else. And that's fucked.
The application process is humiliating and arduous, and fraught with bureaucratic redundancies. The county employees are running around with their heads up their asses, even the compassionate ones, because it's impossible for Alameda County Social Services to do anything efficiently. But I'll tell you how to get results quickly: have a nervous breakdown in the welfare office.
The social worker assisting me was in another room getting yet another form for me to fill out; Jayden was playing with some of his toys in a corner of the tiny, spartan room we were working in. I laid my head down on the desk and cried. I cry all the time. I'm constantly close to tears. I cry out of frustration, grief, and depression, every day. I cry when I think about myself & the fucked up life I've made for me & my kid. I cry because I miss my best friend. I cry because I feel helpless, overwhelmed, lonely, and worthless.
So, I'm crying, and the social worker comes back in the room, and catches me wiping the tears off my face. She gets all scared - "What happened? Are you alright?" And I tell her that i'm clinically depressed, that I haven't had therapy or meds since October, and that I'm at the same kind of low point as when I was hospitalized last year. She calls this counselor chick to the room, who takes charge and gets the following in motion:
Then the counselor makes some more appointments with me to follow up & help me get everything taken care of. She was able to get the Head Start director to open up a spot for Jayden in one of the only centers in Oakland that has funding to stay open through the summer. He starts next week! The day he goes to school, I'm going to some temp agencies & start doing part-time gigs. I can work while on the CalWorks program, up to a certain amount of salary, and still receive all the benefits; I'd just get a smaller cash amount. But without working, the amount of money I'd get each month would be just over $500. Needless to say, that doesn't even cover my rent.
I'm just really grateful to be able to take advantage of what's out there, that the people I encountered were able to effect some positive changes, and that those changes will smooth the way for me to get back to work. I'm still going to be poor'n a mug*, but I can do that.
* poor'n a mug: "poorer than a motherfucker"
