Hello everyone...miss me?

My POCPC (piece of crap PC) finally died on me so I haven't been online in a while. I'm at the library now, I happened to have an afternoon appt and my mom came over to babysit - I'd never be able to use the computer here otherwise. I don't know how often I'll be able to get online so I just wanted to let y'all know what's up with us.

Jayden's birthday was lots of fun, I can't get the cake pics up but they'll come eventually. It was pretty cute. Everyone raved over it - my mom, my brother and his wife, and my play sister and niece came. Jayden got some cool presents, and he just adored being the center of attention. Every time he'd open a present he'd say "It's a noo cah!" or "It's a noo dya-sore!" or "It's a noo tain!" (my mom got him cars, my play sister got him dinosaurs, my lil' bro got him a train set). The grown folx had fun and it was all over by 6 - thankfully no other little kids were there to work my nerves!

Thanks to everyone who's emailed me, and if I can't get back to you all, well, please don't think I'm ignoring y'all. Hopefully I'll be able to get my 'puter fixed one day, and until then I'll update as often as I can. Until then, here's a lil' something to brighten your holidays:

I made an arrangement with my landlady last month. Since my unemployment checks are $420 each, I will send her two checks at the beginning of the month: one, dated early in the month, for $400, and another dated two weeks later, for the balance of the rent.

Why the fuck did I do that?

I was left with $20. The PG&E bill, which was a 15 day notice, is $132. $45 of which is required to keep the lights & heat on. A bus pass is $49. So I ended up taking money out of the bank to take care of these things, ensuring that the first rent check would bounce. Or, the bank would pay it and charge me $30 for the overdraft.

So since I'm fucked no matter what I do, I took a little bit of money and bought some stuff for Jayden's birthday. I got him some coloring books and markers at the 99 cent store. And yesterday, in the mail, I got two movie tickets thanks to Visa (no I have no credit, it's my check card ATM). So I took my baby to see his first movie, Rugrats go to Paris. It was cute. I'd always disliked the Rugrats, because they're drawn so ugly, but it grows on ya, I guess. Jayden likes them, which is weird since we don't have cable. But I guess that's what relentless merchandising does.

Down the street from the theater is a Party America 99 cent closeout store. I went in there hoping to find some Happy Birthday wrapping paper; no luck there. So I'm browsing the boxes of stuff, looking for plates, cups, party hats, in some half decent theme that would appeal to a three-year old. The only thing I could find a set of was a theme called Sharks! that has a couple great whites and a stingray swimming above your ordinary underwater scene. I got plates, cups, hats, blowouts, napkins, banners, and wall decor, for a grand total of $3.25. Then on the way home we stopped at the grocery store to get dinner. I bought some of those gummy fruit snack sharks, and some blue & green icing. I already had white frosting for the cake. I'll use the icing to suggest water, or waves or something, and stick the gummy sharks on the sides & top of the cake. I wish, I wish, I wish I had some of those BIG gummy sharks for the top! That would be awesome. Or at least some shark/fish toys to stick on it. Ah well. The cake itself is going to be a white cake with "party confetti" dots in it. The filling is going to be cream cheese, the frosting just white with the decoration. I hope it turns out okay - I don't have real cake pans, and couldn't afford to buy any, so I'm using those crappy foil ones. However it turns out, I'm taking pix, and I'll post 'em for you, so y'all can either go "ooooh" at my creativity or laugh at how pathetic it came out.

As long as there's frosting on it, and candles to blow out, Jayden's gonna love his cake. And hey, what else matters?

I just added a gang of questions to my survey. Please go over there under "contact" ---> and take the survey. Please? "Tank..........yoooooooo", as Jayden would say.

You've been had, Boo. The "ad" is just another joke brought to us by the good folx at Landover Baptist - a purely (and viciously) satirical website. My favorite part in the "ad" is the name of the group: "Baptists Invoking God's Old Testament Standards..." see what the acronym is?

Know your enemy, I always say: Hate On Display: A Visual Database of Extremist Symbols, Logos and Tattoos

I had no idea backyard wrestling was so huge. A search on Google yielded thousands of results. I decided to not link to any of the "federations" homepages. Instead, here are a couple of articles: one from Fox News and one from a local (Bay Area) source.

If you're worried about the marketing of violence to kids, The Lion & Lamb Project is dedicated to exposing violent toys and companies' marketing tactics; check out their Dirty Dozen list of the most violent toys marketed to young children.

This monitor is about to die. It is constantly in motion, I can barely read anything because it's all a blur. I'm gonna go blind if I try to do anything else. Dammit. I wish I could afford a new one. My play sister said she got me one, I think it's a monitor her job was replacing. I hope it's a decent one, and that it can support 800x600, so I can repo The Sims from her. I won't do that until she has that baby though, she'd been coveting that game for a while. I brought it down to her house last month, but she just now went on maternity leave and finally has time to play. I won't be a stank ass and snatch it up now. Besides - her ass lives way in San Jose and I ain't got a running car right about now. So it's all moot anyway, eh?

So, either the other day was just a lull in the (snot)storm and we never got better, or we caught back-to-back bugs. I feel like crap, my baby feels like crap. Today's been kinda bad - thought it started out cool, but this evening we're just sick, man. Poor Jayden didn't even know how to tell me his throat was sore - he kept saying "it hurt", and when I'd ask him "what hurts?" he'd just say "yeah". Finally a few minutes ago he said "my moud" and I got him to open up for me...his tonsils don't look swollen, but he's awfully red in there. Through pantomime I confirmed that it's his throat that hurts. I spritzed his mouth with Cloraseptic, that should help him. Poor baby.Poor mama! I lost my voice and he just doesn't understand why I can't read him a book or sing him a song.

So, it turns out there's more for me to download after all, and another (free!) installment in a coupla weeks. Yay!

I'm very disturbed by all the investigative reportage pieces on the news about these backyard wrestling clubs. I'm sorry I'm blogging about this without finding any links, but it just happened to be on the TV while I was messing with the template. I'm disturbed by the kids and the things they say - their reasons for fighting in the clubs and so on - but much more so by the parents. Rationalizing the things their kids are doing with the most idiotic of arguments - "at least they're at home and not in the streets" or "they're getting their aggressions out" or whatever...bullshit...crap. If you like wrestling, fine. I don't. I don't get it, it offends me, it's irritating. But I do understand its appeal and I won't hate on somebody for digging it. But the off handed approval of parents for other people's kids to come to their homes and beat each other up pisses me off. Wonder if all the parents of all the kids participating know what their kids are doing at their friends' houses?

I've been really sick for a couple days, and I'm just now getting back to myself. I hate getting sick for all the obvious reasons, but it's even worse when you're a single mama of a toddler. Worse still when there's no one to come over and help. My poor baby had cookies for dinner last night - I just couldn't get up to get him anything, and they were within his reach on the kitchen table. When he came over to where I was laying on the floor outside the bathroom, cookies in hand, all I could do was mumble "okay baby" and let him have them. Don't worry, he's gotten good nutritious meals today...

Ever have those "flu dreams"? I do. Last night I had a bunch, back to back. Weird stuff, mostly dreams about me floating in the air, one dream I was designing my own house, straight out of The Sims. The weirdest one had Brandy talking to me, telling me why she growls at Jayden and what she doesn't like about him.

My fever broke sometime today, my head stopped pounding about two hours ago, and I've got an appetite again. Thank goodness that shit didn't last but a couple days.

Funny you should mention that...I've been trying to make one that actually looks like something. Kind of hard to do with a free photo editor that doesn't have too many tools, but check out my "link to" button over there to the right.

Cherica, I'd be honored to have you as Jayden's "cyber" godmother. When he gets bigger he can send you emails & stuff. Awww...

And hey, Miss E, when are you gonna post a picture of your new 'do?

I took the Color Quiz, and these are my results:

Your Existing Situation
Dissatisfied. The need to escape continued involvement with her present circumstances makes it imperative for her to find some solution.

Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Feels lonely and uncertain as she has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and wants to stand out from the rank and file. This sense of isolation magnifies the need into a compelling urge, all the more upsetting to her self-sufficiency because of the restraint she normally imposes on herself. Since she wants to demonstrate the unique quality of her own character, she tries to suppress this need for others and affects an attitude of unconcerned self-reliance to conceal her fear of inadequacy, treating those who criticize her behavior with contempt. However, beneath this assumption of indifference she really longs for the approval and esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Unhappy at the resistance she feels whenever she tries to assert herself. Indignant and resentful because of these setbacks, but gives way apathetically and makes whatever adjustments are necessary so that she can have peace and quiet.

Your Actual Problem
Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to anxiety, and she is distressed by the lack of any close and understanding relationship. She attempts to escape into a substitute world in which things are more nearly as she desires them to be.

Your Actual Problem #2
Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics she admires and to display originality in her own personality.

What's most disturbing is not the bleak picture painted of me & my psyche...but that it's almost totally accurate.